The Youth in Asia

If you are looking for the David Sedaris essay of the same name about putting down family dogs please search elsewhere, otherwise I offer:

I have long since lost the awe and wonder of the "show" at any Japanese steakhouse. You know, big flames, singed eyebrows, shrimp tail tossing, egg breaking, big flames, Japanese Dr. Pepper, a cook who is from no where near Japan but tries his darndest* to fake the accent, and did I mention the big flames? But earlier this evening I rather saw something new! My advice is now:
1) Go on a Monday night (you don't have to sit a table with other people you don't know)
2) Bring at least two adorable children (and one of their parents if the said children are not yours, otherwise the law may get involved. Kidnapping is a federal offense I am told.)
3) Enjoy the fun!

One child will like big flames, the other small flames, that will be guaranteed. Yes, while you will get the onion volcano, the flaming grill and hand, which you will have to remind the children: We Do Not Try At Home!, and the clickedy clack of the knife, fork, spatula-thingy (that's the official name. . . I know because I asked.) But, the little guys will get to do some egg flipping (albeit not perfect but really people, we just want to break the eggs, it doesn't matter if the land just right) they also get to toss shrimp tails at the hat of an authentic Japanese chef named Pedro. But the real fun is the giant pile o' fried rice. Using it along with , ginger sauce, a few chopped green beans and a little cube of carrot I, and I assume the kids, got quite a show. It started out simple with a heart shape (I know, "Yeah so what?" Just wait for it you impatient people!) Then into a certain mouse (name not mention fearing copyright infringement) and then a bunny, complete with carrot. Then the topper, the grande finale, the piece de resistance. . . SpongeBob SquarePants in fried rice, true art my dear friends, true art! And thrilled children, one of whom finished her meal for the most part, the other loved the prep just not the product. But i ain't namin' names.

If you offer me money I might tell you where this magical kingd-- I mean, place is located, and no, it is not in Florida. And be sure to ask for extra salad dressing when you sit down. . . it's to die for.**

*SpellCheck catches this word, I have no idea why.
** for all the grammarians out there "For it, is to die." But really? What since does that make?